On God and gummy worms

NCSPCJXHSeveral Sundays ago, right in the middle of singing a familiar worship song, God showed up. My eight-year-old son was singing next to me. His attitude had not been the greatest, and mine could have used a few adjustments too. He was fidgeting, and I was trying hard to keep my thoughts in order for the message that I was about to give. That’s when it happened — he stopped fidgeting long enough to tug on my sleeve. “Dad” he whispered, as his lower lip quivered. I leaned down to listen as he continued. “Remember the other night when you told me not to eat any more gummy worms after I got in bed?” He pauses, his eyes refusing to look at me. “Well, I did.”

I stop singing, and sit down next to him. I touch his chin to redirect his eyes to mine. “Are you asking me to forgive you?” He nods. His lip still quivering. I smile. “Well, I do.” He throws his arms around my neck, refusing to let go. The music is still playing. The congregation is still singing. But God’s message is rising above all of that. He is speaking his familiar story of repentance and forgiveness through a little boy who is clinging tightly to the neck of his father.

I set my son down and continue to sing with the rest of the congregation, but there is a voice that is singing more loudly than mine. I stop singing again, and listen to the eight year old next to me singing with all of his heart:

God of wonders beyond our galaxy; You are holy, holy.
Precious Lord reveal Your heart to me, Father hold me, hold me.
The universe declares Your majesty, You are holy, holy, holy, holy.
Hallelujah, to the Lord of heaven and earth!

My son isn’t only singing loudly, but he’s smiling — the kind of smile you can’t hold back no matter how hard you try. The kind of smile you have when you no longer have to hide a secret.

God, do you feel this kind of joy — the father’s joy I feel right now — when I come to you in repentance, seeking your forgiveness? I look at my son again, who is still belting the song with everything he’s got.  And is that what I look like when I’ve been forgiven — unable to contain the joy of a burden lifted? 

His voice raises at the refrain: Hallelujah, to the Lord of heaven and earth! I think to myself: I couldn’t agree more.

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