How we become prone to self-pity

If you developed a top 10 list for Bible characters, Moses and Elijah would probably make the cut. Men of strong faith, used mightily by God, and respected by the people they served. Yet, both had moments when they struggled, when self-pity took root, and discouragement followed. The biblical accounts of their struggles are helpful, because God answers them, revealing his perspective on their situations.

What you learn from Moses and Elijah is that we are most prone to self-pity when see ourselves improperly. That improper view of self (and ultimately God) distorts the truth.

Here is the truth: Moses was used by God to lead the people out of their slavery in Egypt, but it was God who would do the delivering. Notice God’s words when he called Moses,

Then the LORD said, “I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters. I know their sufferings, and I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey . . . (Ex. 3:7-8).

Moses was on the road to the Promised Land when the unsatisfied desires of the Israelites put him over the edge. It’s not that Moses hadn’t heard their complaining before, but this time was unique; because, Moses assumed the burden to be his that only God could bear.

Moses heard the people weeping throughout their clans, everyone at the door of his tent  . . . Moses said to the Lord, “Why have you dealt ill with your servant? And why have I not found favor in your sight, that you lay the burden of the people on me? (Num. 11:11).

God never placed the burden of the people on Moses, Moses assumed it. While his life was typically characterized by humility (Num. 12:3), in this situation he thought to highly of himself. God was not placing a burden on Moses that he was to carry alone. Moses seems to have forgotten that God was the one who had promised to deliver the people.  

For a moment, Moses saw himself in the God position – as if the burdens of the world were his alone to bear. Trying to hand a seemingly impossible situation on his own brought about his bout of self-pity.

Ultimately we embrace self-pity not only because our perspective of self is too large, but because our view of God is too small. Notice the dialogue between God and Moses,

But Moses said, “The people among whom I am number six hundred thousand on foot, and you have said, ‘I will give them meat, that they may eat a whole month!’ Shall flocks and herds be slaughtered for them, and be enough for them? Or shall all the fish of the sea be gathered together for them, and be enough for them?” And the LORD said to Moses, “Is the LORD’s hand shortened? Now you shall see whether my word will come true for you or not.” (Num. 11:21-23)

God had promised Moses he would not have to walk this road alone, but briefly Moses looked around, felt alone, and lived that way. Ultimately, the burden was too great, and he reverted to self–pity under self–imposed pressure.

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Getting victory over anxiety — Part 3

There are certain things in this life which we can control, and others which God alone is to handle. For instance, while we are to control how we respond to others, we cannot control how they respond to us (Rom. 12:18).  We are to control how we react to authority, but we can’t control how they react to us (Rom. 13:17).

Those who struggle with worry have a tendency to be anxious about the things they can’t control. In so doing, their attention is often diverted from the things they can (and should) control.

That is why, for the one who is anxious, this second principal is so important. Change your mind, not your circumstances.

God controls your circumstances (Dan. 4:34-35), but he expects you to control your mind (Phil. 4:8). So if you struggle with worry, you will have to change the way you think.

The worrier has a tendency to let his mind run wild. Like a scared child running in a dark forest, every shadow is a potential enemy.  The anxious person tends to believe that if he can think about something in advance he can avoid it. Yet, God controls our circumstances, we need to bring our thoughts captive, and trust him with our future.

I have found one verse to be the most helpful in the retraining of the worrier’s thought patterns.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things (Phil. 4:8)

Years ago I realized that the 8 qualities within this verse were to set the parameters on my thinking. If something was true, honorable, or right I could dwell on it. If it was not, I should not. This is great help for the one who worries. Most of what we worry about doesn’t actually come to pass, hence it is not true.

Perhaps you are thinking, “But the things I am worrying about actually could come to pass.” Yes, but they haven’t, and the worrier usually thinks about events in the future with certainty not possibility. He tends to think about future things as if they are true, when in fact they have not and quite possibly will not, occur.

I like to imagine that these 8 qualities were intended to form the parameters on my thinking. They are 8 walls within in which I am given complete freedom to think. Within those 8 walls it is impossible to jeopardize my communion with God.  Unfortunately, you and I often desire riskier thinking.

The picture of a stop sign served as a great reminder to control my thinking. It is good when I’m thinking within the parameters. When I am not, it is good to say, “Stop! Think on these things.”

By the way, anxious thoughts cannot occur inside the parameters. So come on now, “Stop! Think on these things.”

For additional thoughts on the subject go to: https://philmoser.com/2011/11/18/the-effect-of-scripture-on-the-mind/

The answered prayer for which I never asked

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve;

I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health, that I might do greater things;

I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy;

I was given poverty, that I might be wise.

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men;

I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;

I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing I asked for but everything I hoped for.

Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.

I am, among men, most richly blessed.

At the end of the civil war, this prayer was found folded in the pocket of a Confederate soldier.